You ask “how are you?”, but what exactly are you asking me?
Are you concerned about my current physical and mental state?
Are you just asking out of routine and only really expect me to say, “I’m fine”?
Do you just ask this as a way of showing you acknowledge my presence?
Are you prepared for the details of how I truly am?
If not, what’s the point of asking?
If I answer, would you listen or wait for your turn to speak?
And if I asked, would you tell me?
Would you want me to know what’s going on with you?
Would you say that you’re fine and expect me to read otherwise without actually telling me?
What exactly am I supposed to do with “I’m fine”?
Should I throw it in the recycling and reuse it for when I’m barely holding it together, but don’t trust people with my vulnerability?
If you’re not doing so great, what’s the point of lying?
I honestly don’t get it.
When you ask “how are you”, what do you want?
What exactly are you asking me?
These are just some of the questions that run through my mind, as an autistic person, the world never ceases to confuse me.
Thanks for reading!