These are just some simple steps on becoming any aspie’s favourite person.
1. Be sure to sporadically make plans and never follow through.
Almost every aspie if not every thrive upon the occasional let down, infact they enjoy spending large amounts of time mentally/emotionally gearing themselves up and preparing every detail on a potential nothing.
2. Never EVER just jump straight to the point.
Always make sure to insert a good 10-15 minute waffle before getting straight to the point.
3. Never say what you really mean.
Seriously, go all out!
❀ When something bothers you, tell them you don’t mind
❀ Say yes when you really mean no
❀ Say no when you really mean yes
❀ Suggest to hang out more when you don’t really want to
❀ Say you’re not hungry and then hack away into their food
4. Try not to take into consideration ‘everything’ they say.
Mind games are their forte, so it’s absolutely crucial when they say something, always always always assume the opposite:
❀ When they say no, they mean convince them to say yes
❀ When they say they’re going to do something, assume that they have an agenda
❀ When they tell you they’re on the spectrum, they actually want you to take one look at them and convince them otherwise(they LOVE this)
❀ Make plans when they say they need time alone
❀ Read inbetween the lines when they give clear concise information
5. Drop extremely subtle hints to get what you want from them.
Only because they possess impressive telepathic powers and prefer to just read your mind so there’s really no need to bother telling them what you actually want.
6. Abandon them in social situations.
There’s nothing like being invited somewhere, where nobody knows you and that one friend is nowhere to be found. Yes aspies love being left in awkward situations.
8. Lie again
9. Invade personal bubble from time to time.
It makes them feel loved. ❤
10. Suggest ways and attempt to “fix” them as a person.
Self love = mad over-rated in the autism community.
I hope this helps those trying to get close to a fellow aspie, I know they’d really appreciate you taking the time to learn about their quirks and becoming the bestest friend you can be.
(P.S: yes, this was laced with sarcasm)