So I like to be very observant and analytical, I also value peace and humility. One of my skills that I’m grateful for is my ability to overlook an offence, it’s not fully mastered yet but it has helped me with so much in life.
So say someone has hurt or attempts to offend me one of my 1st instincts is to make sense of the situation and respond appropriately if a response is even needed. My method comes in 4 steps:
1. Detach – For me to gain a proper insight I have to emotionally detach myself from the situation and the person involved or it’ll just cloud my judgement. I do this by closing my eyes for a bit whilst breathing in and out, then bringing my imagination into play.
2. Me – I try to look inside myself and start asking questions …
If the offence is even important, it could be that I took offense because I’m having an off day, insecurities flared up or that it hit a nerve that deeply damaged me from past experiences. So that’ll be something I need to work on.
3. Them – I try to look outside myself and start asking questions as if the offender is in my head…
…whilst I’m doing this I try to picture the offender as a young child or a baby…still developing with unsettled dispositions and lacking certain capacities. This helps me to be a bit more lenient and see that the negative behavior of the offender may not have nothing to do with me.
4. Situation – I try to look at the situation from an outsiders point of view. Before I respond or act I imagine a large audience or someone I highly respect looking down at me.
Somewhere down the line in this method I’ve always without fail found some form of clarity, making it so much easier to forgive and move on with my life.
Although sometimes I’ll need to distance myself from the offender for a while even after I’ve forgiven and made sense of the situation in my head because my heart hasn’t quite caught up yet and the emotions are still flying high.
Curiosity is my best policy and once you know WHY the HOW is easy. 😊
Thanks for reading!