I despise small talk with a passion. I’ve struggled with it my whole life and it drives me insane but I’m slowly grasping how to use it. (Believe it took a whole year for me to go from “I’m fine” to “I’m fine thank you” whenever I was greeted and asked how I was, sad but yeah) 😂
I understand to everyone else that it’s just a warm up to a conversation but to me it just doesn’t make any sense or have any deep rooted value. The way how people talk about the weather like rain was just discovered yesterday. The way how people lie through their teeth and say that they’re fine when they’re not. It’s all very frustrating to me because there’s nothing really genuine about small talk and I can’t do much with it, like it’s either you care about it or you don’t, say how it is or don’t say anything at all. I only go along with it because it’s expected, otherwise I really don’t care for it at all and you could probably tell by the look on my face. 😑…… Seriously.
Deep, authentic and stimulating conversations are a necessity for me especially if you can joke around with it. I need to feel like my mind is being expanded. I enjoy conversation but I’m just not built for small talk.
On the other hand my black and white thinking is one of my biggest motivators of getting through life and reaching my goals. It pushes me out of my comfort zone to achieve a lot of great things and with this I inspire a lot of people and have mastered a lot of things beyond the norm.
I also like to cut through any layers of irrelevant rubbish to get to the bigger picture. I’m very good at problem solving, puzzles and most games. I feel very uncomfortable with assumptions and unclear information, so I will try to get to the root of things as well as looking inside people to gain a deep understanding.
I value truth more than anything. Lying for me feels like such a chore and pointless, I often find it quite hard to sugar coat things, lie on the spot, tell half the truth or send mixed messages, like I seriously can’t be bothered, it takes way too much out of me. Raw and uncut is my natural flow. Majority of the time I mean what I say and if I say I’m going to do something it WILL be done. If for some reason it couldn’t be done(eg:broke my leg) I’ll find some way to make up for it. A PROMISE IS A PROMISE. Only problem with that is people who mean what they say tend to think that everyone else does too. 😒
Not to say that I’m perfect or anything but this is just a small part of how my mind works. I know that the world is in colour and I don’t expect the world to work around my way of thinking but it works well for me. I achieve A LOT which makes me very happy. 😀
Thanks for reading